Sarge's Germany Travels Vol. 6

Click to read part 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5

   The next morning, after breakfast, I was snoozing in the sun next to a window, when Woofgang and Gretta came running in telling me with a terrified look on their face that my family was packing their suitcases. Petrified that we might already be leaving, I went to my family to see for myself. Sure enough my closest human friends had their luggage-transportation-boxes out and were packing. I stopped in my tracks. I was devastated. We had just arrived here four days earlier and it was now already time to leave? I just had made two new friends. Before I knew it, I had to say a tearful farewell to my canine friends. I dismally retreated into my kennel and then we all left the big house with the two old people and my good friends Woofgang and Gretta.

Sarge's Germany Travels vol. 5

Read part 1, 2, 3, and 4.
   A little later the entire family including Woofgang, Gretta, and I rode in a car for a while. When the driving machine stopped we were out of the town in the country. We were at a ragtag shabby farm.  I could easily tell that the two little fellow canines knew exactly where we were. They said that they come here every day with the older people. Apparently the humans own the entire farm. What really struck my dog interest was that they have all kinds of animals here, including pigs, horses,
chickens, goats, and geese. While the humans were occupied, my new friends showed me around. First they brought me where the pigs stay. They introduced me to the boar Adolf and the sow Eva. Being pigs, they were quite polite to us canines, they even invited us to join them in their mud bath. So we accourse could not decline.
   After getting all dirty we went over to the horses. Not much was happening there. The horses were only grazing in the field. Pretty soon we got bored and went over to the chickens, the best part of the whole trip.
    Us proud dogs--like it or not--have always fancied chickens. Not the fact that they drop edible eggs every day or that they disrupt everyone's sleep before dawn. The fact is, canines have loved chasing chickens since the beginning of time. Trying to not get in trouble, we just watched the chickens play. So much for that. Before we knew it, we were chasing the squawking fowl across the entire farm. Words cannot describe that feeling, sprinting across fields after a ugly bird and releasing the worries of the world. Except for those humans shouting at you really loudly.
   Long story short, all three of us were in the "dog house"-- just for being dogs and doing what dogs do.

Sarge's Germany Travels vol. 4

Read part 1, 2, and 3.

The next morning I woke up in the large house in a small quaint room that Jeremiah had been sleeping in. After getting up, I followed my nose downstairs into an old kitchen where the family was eating breakfast. As I strolled in, the two little dogs rushed over to me and started yapping and running around me. Those crazy Yorkshire Terriers! They told me that their names were Woofgang and Gretta and that they ruled this house. Naturally I followed Woofgang and Gretta to a spot under the table and waited (of course without begging) for food. After a while I scored a piece of salami from the older lady of the house. Then I realized where I actually was. My Labrador senses could detect that this was not your average slice of salami. This was German salami! That explained why everything including the human language was different! After the meal Woofgang and Gretta showed me around the extensive house. They showed me ways to sneak outside and the best places to sleep. Where to find the occasional mouse and how to annoy the neighborhood cat. The entire time I kept wondering. What did the two older people have to do with our family and why were we here?

Sarge's Germany Travels vol. 3

Read part 1, or part 2

   After I was carried out of the plane and on to the small truck at the airport, I realized what had happened. The reason for the weather and the language being different was that I was not in America anymore. I was in another country! The small truck took me across the platform to a conveyor belt. A man lifted up my cage and carried me over to the belt. Where will they take me now? But a few minutes later I was reunited with my family.
   Two older people greeted us at the turning mechanism where you pick up your suitcases. The family picked up theirs. The whole family and the older people walked over to the bright blue car that the strangers owned. Dad put me in the back of the driving machine. The car was moving for a while. When it stopped Dad lifted me and my cage out of the car. I was definitively not at home. Then I saw a huge house that was as tall as 17 Labradors (32 feet) or 43 Chihuahuas (for you tiny dogs). The house looked very old. I bet my great, great, great, great, great, grand-dog was not even around when it was built.
   I was carried inside and to my surprise two little Yorkshire Terriers greeted me hyper actively. My keen Labrador senses could already tell that these dogs were going to be a handful of trouble.

Sarge's Germany Travels Vol. 2

Note: To read vol. 1 click here
   As soon as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realized I was caught in a dreadful place. With me there were a dozen other dogs (which is not that bad) and tons of appalling, excruciatingly annoying cats (which is really bad)! Everywhere there were cats. I already knew this was going to be a long flight.

   A couple hours into the flight I was about ready to go crazy. I was inside a cramped cage in an enormous machine, with dozens of crying cats and a couple of whiny canines.
   While trying to take a quick snooze, I heard rattling in the cage next to me. I looked over and saw a little chihuahua in a tiny cage trying to obtain the bone that had slipped through the bars. Feeling very courteous I managed to stick my tail through the gaps in my cage and to nudge the bone back to the tiny dog. He thanked me and then told me that his name was Antonio. We started talking about how annoying the cats were and the best kind of dog food. Antonio was telling me about the tastiest parts of a cow, when THUMP! The huge machine had slowed down and then suddenly stopped. After a few minutes the large door opened to two men that were speaking a strange language. They started unloading the cages with the dogs and cats from the plane. Antonio and I were the last ones to be brought out of the plane. As I was being carried to the conveyor belt I was expecting a warm bright sun, but outside it was cold and rainy. My mind was boggled. How could it be that I had boarded a plane just hours earlier when everything had been warm and bright and now it was suddenly cold and rainy?

Sarge's Germany Travels vol. 1

   It all started on July 9th, when Mom came home with a big, hard, shiny, box. Not knowing what it was, I walked into it. Then Slam! The cage was shut. Since I am such a muscular, and strong dog, I had barely enough room to move around. Dad picked up the box with me inside and took me to the huge driving machine. I was left in the back of the machine with a few suitcases. That was when I realized what was happening. I was going to the vet. We drove for approximately 20 minutes to a huge, strange building. When the machine, stopped Dad carried me into the building. Inside there were crowds of people everywhere with their suitcases. The whole family went to a man behind a weird machine that looks up stuff. Then came the saddest part. Dad gave the cage with me inside to the man. He put me on to a conveyor belt that started moving and then my family was gone.
   After a while the belt with me on it came outside. There was a long, white, vehicle with two huge wings on the side. This definitely was not the vet. This was a flying machine complex. Two men carried me on to a small car that took me to the flying machine. Another man put me on a conveyor belt that went up on to the huge grim moving monster and that was the last I saw of the bright sun.

The Friend

A little poem Jeremiah wrote about Labradors.

My Friend

Mate to young and old

Never leaves you in the cold.

Loyal, compassionate, friendly

Worth more than a Bentley.

Navigating through life’s crashes

Raising Phoenix from the ashes

Always there like Orion,

Strong as a lion,

Gentle as a lamb.

Sometimes goofy and funny

Always looking to chase a bunny,

Cheers you up in days of sorrow

Never worrying about tomorrow.

He’ll love you to the end,

That’s why a Labrador is my friend.

From Nell to Avon To Sarge

   The modern breed of Labrador Retrievers originated from the island of Newfoundland, Canada. The founding breed, the St. John's Water Dog, was first bred in the 16th century. The breed was a random mix of Portuguese, English, and Irish working dogs. They were important for fisherman by helping to pull in nets and retrieving ropes. This is the reason why Labradors love water so much. The St. John's Water Dog had white paws, muzzle, and chest which are common in lab mixes and are responsible for the few stray hairs in pure breeds. Because of their loyalty and hard-working personality Labradors were valuable assets to fisherman.

  Nell, a St. John's water Dog-1856

 A number of St. John's dogs were brought over to England where they became known for their sporting and waterfowl hunting. The Earl of Malmesbury who bred dogs for hunting on his estate was instrumental in the breeding of the Labrador. His first St. John's dog Buccleuch Avon was the foundation dog of the modern Labrador. While he was going past the docks he saw a St. John's and immediately made arrangements with traders to export them over to England. The skills of the first Labradors that he devoted his entire kennel to the breeding of Labradors.

Buccleuch Avon the founding Labrador 1885

Ming and Baxter Save the Day!

   Yesterday I was lying by a window facing the backyard when all of a sudden I saw something. A squirrel! Then another and another. They kept on coming until there were at least twenty in the backyard. All the squirrels were gathering on the ground. Since I am an expert in filthy rodents, my accurate assessment was that they were probably nuts. I darted as fast as possible to the backdoor. As soon as my fit body was outside the door I charged full speed at the squirrels. Knowing that squirrels are so dumb, I knew that they would be cowards and run away. But they did not. Suddenly all the squirrels turned on me and attacked ME! They all started to gnaw and slobber on me. Helplessly I yelped the distress bark and waited while being "eaten alive." In less than a minute Baxter and Ming were both there, thrashing the despicable rodents around and saving me. If it had not been for Ming and Baxter, I would have been "in the dog house!"

Rescued!

Read Part 1

   After I could not find Ming in the backyard, all I could think of to do was to hide and wait. After a while the human's backdoor opened and to my surprise, Ming! I was so excited to see him! Since I knew that the lady was a dognapper I tried to stay hidden. After the lady went back inside, I asked Ming in a hushed tone of voice to come over. "What happened? Are you being tortured? Is she going to make dog stew out of you?" But Ming responded that the lady was actually very nice and even fed him some meat last night. And then came shocker! Ming said that he is considering adopting the human!  On top of it all, a really nice dachshund named Baxter lived there and they were having a great time playing with each other. Baxter had even dug a hole under the fence that will allow them to escape for a fun filled day. After Ming reassured me that he was fine, I was so relieved and happily left to go home.http://open.spotify.com/track/1YER6GeCM2IBftKjbxAe1U

My Heart Leaps Up When I Behold

My heart leaps up when I behold,

My friend, Ming the dog.

He appeared like a ghost in the night, 

He shared with me his every bite.

He will be treasured like true gold.

Captured!

   Yesterday my homeless friend Ming and I went out exploring the neighborhood. We were walking down a street when suddenly we heard a human call out to us offering food. Ming and I are always interested in food so we went over to check it out. We followed the tasty aroma and found ourselves in the person's backyard. When, slam, the human had trapped us into her back yard! The lady came up to me and studied the collar around my neck. Then the person went inside and left us alone. Only after we finished eating the food we noticed we were trapped. There was no escape. Frantically we tried to find a hole in the fence but we were out of luck.
   Before we knew it was already dark. The lady came out and walked over to me. She grabbed my collar and led me out of the yard and let me go. But not Ming. Since I was too scared to do anything I just walked home.
   Early the next morning I got up and hurried over to the house where Ming was being held captive. I barked over to him but there was no response. I started to panic. What if he had been brought to the pound?

Heaven on Earth

   Yesterday I was out with my new friend, Ming, wandering the neighborhood. Ming decided to show me how to find old food at Sonic. When we were nearing our destination, he warned me to walk as silently as possible. Quietly, we darted across the street and hid behind a dumpster. Ming nudged a piece of wood to the side. And there, I am convinced, was heaven on earth. There were old hamburgers, french fries, onion rings, and, best of all, raw sausage! While devouring the food, Ming informed me that every few dark periods (days) the dumpster is refilled with food. Just as he finished talking we heard footsteps in the distance. Ming and I dashed out from behind the dumpster. But just as I was escaping, my collar got caught on a hook. I tried to yank free but  I could not. The footsteps were getting closer and closer. Ming ran over and bit my collar off so that I could finally run to safety. True, I lost my collar, but it saved me from getting into big trouble.

Frank and Ming the King

Frank

by 

Sarge

There once was a squirrel named Frank,

That gave my big tail a yank

I tried to bite him

But he sang a long hymn

Now that was quite a prank

Ming the King

by 

Sarge

I have a good friend named Ming

He acts quite like a king

He ate all my food

Then I was screwed

And that was no happy thing

A Ghost Story

   A few days ago the family was away from home doing something and I got bored in the backyard. I had not taken a walk that day, so I decided it would help them a lot if I took care of that myself. After a while I found a small crack in the fence that allowed me to squeeze through. 

By the time I got to Elm Street it was already dark. I decided to turn around when all of a sudden I saw a blurry shadow. A dog? A puff of smoke? An evil squirrel? A ghost! Suddenly the ghost turned around to go after me. Without much thought I ran faster than ever. After a few minutes I glanced over my shoulder to see if the spook was still following me. He had disappeared! All I could see was a fluffy Chow Chow looking like a teddy bear. I asked him whether he had seen a ghost. "Oh no," he said. "I'm looking for a black dog." I told him that I had not seen a black dog recently. The chow said that his name was Ming and that he had been living on the streets since he was kicked out of house and home. Ming was really hungry. We struck a bargain: I invited him to come home with me where I would share some of my food. In exchange the chow agreed to show me some places with free food.

We never found out what happened to the ghost and the black dog.

 Ming the chow chow

A Sad but True Tale

   Yesterday I decided to visit my good friend Budd across the street. But when I got there he was nowhere to be found! I sniffed the back yard for his scent but could still not find anything. I went up to his people's backdoor and started to bark. After a few minutes the owner opened the door and that's when she told me the bad news. She said that earlier that day Budd was on his way to meet me. Crossing the street all of a sudden he was hit by a huge driving machine. Luckily nothing really bad happened to him except a broken leg. She said that Budd was at the vet, but he would be back soon. Later that day I visited Budd who was already much better.
   The moral of the story is this: Never run across the street to visit your dog friend without checking left and right for big machines.
  

Snowmageddon!

Last week early in the morning white, fluffy stuff started to fall from the sky. After a couple of sleeps (about 90 minutes) enough white fluff had fallen to cover my legs. This caused a real problem for Patches, since she is small and now the white fluff had probably almost completely covered her. The whole family was sitting around the warm fireplace, when Jeremiah, who takes care of the evil one (aka Patches), discovered that she was missing. He checked around the house, but could not find her. Suddenly Jeremiah realized that Patches was still outside in the snow. He bundled up to go outside into the -10° degree weather. Scouring the whole front yard and backyard for Patches, he did not find her. I thought maybe what he needed was some canine nose sensors. As soon as I trotted I realized that Jeremiah could find Patch by himself and that I was cold. Just as I was going inside, Jeremiah found Patches. I darted over to where he was trying to reach a cold cat, which was caught between two narrow fences. He could not reach Patches, because his arm was a little too short. At first I was sort of glad. Now that she was stuck, there was now way she could swat me with her sharp claws again. But then I realized that a dog would do the right thing. I gathered enough courage to go right between the fences and pick up Patches by the scruff of her neck. Of course she tried to swat me, but I tried to ignore her. I had done the right thing: she had escaped certain death in the snow and I had brought her into the house where she was warm and safe. I just hope she will remember my generosity!

2012 is NOT Going to be Pretty

   Merry Christmas everybody! Wait, I just realized I am a month off. It must have been some evil squirrels doing tests on my brain. Anywho, I came to tell you all that yesterday I was dictating my post to Jeremiah minding my own busness. Then Patches showed up and stepped on the computer's power button and shut the whole device off. Totally off. When the device finally started up, I found out that all my work was gone. All lost! I wasted ten minutes of my life thanks to a stupid cat! But what scares me even more is this: if infidel creatures (cats and squirrels) are already able to shut off power, imagine what could happen in a couple of years! Squirrels might get laser vision and shoot at our tails so we would lose balance. 

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Even worse, cats might get on computers and hack the military's database and launch nuclear weapons and destroy all dogkind. 

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   It's already getting serious. The squirrels are training at top secret locations. Pray for us.

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