Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The End of the World! Part 1

   Everybody get your emergency supplies! Get your last minute flu shots!  Hide your bones! The world is going to end!
It all started last week, when I was fast asleep, dreaming about killing giant squirrels. It was the darkest part of the night, when all of a sudden it happened. The ground started to move! I woke up immediately and sprung into action. First I went over to my human parents and jumped frantically upon their bed. Of course they did not like that and started throwing random stuffed animals at me. So I planned to charge upstairs to the little girls' bedroom and to chew up their blankets. While I was climbing up the stairs, the movement stopped. I am telling you, this was the strangest night of my life. All of a sudden there was no point to do anything else and I just went back to sleep.
   The next morning at about 18 naps after dawn (9:00 AM), the exact same thing happened again. The ground started to move! Since I had experienced this before, I wasn't as scared. It only lasted for a short time and nothing bad really happened.
   All of sudden I saw a light! The movement of the earth had turned Jeremiah's laptop on. On the screen I saw a picture that was branded into my brain forever. It was a picture of a A SABER-TOOTHED SQUIRREL!!!
   In the old book of Labrador mythology, it is foretold, that the canine who is dreaming about killing squirrels, wakes up to rumbling ground, and sees a picture of a Saber-toothed squirrel, is to witness monsters that look like squirrels in the near future. Because I was not sure, that this was the phenomenon that they talk about, I went over to my friend Budd's house. He is also a Labrador and might have known something that I did not. He told me in confidence that he is not a full-bred Labrador. That is why he has not heard that much about the ancient mythology. Furthermore he had been night fishing with his owner and had not really felt the trembling. What is a Labrador to do in a situation like this? Read what happens next month!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Dungeon of Doom

   Last week the family went down to Texas. They decided that I could stay with my friend Bubba again! The next morning I had to get up very early. They dropped me off at Bubba's house with some food for me. After giving them a good bye slobber, I sent them off on their trip. Bubba and I went outside to play with the frogs in Bubba's frog pond.
   A couple of dead frogs later, Bubba's owner came outside and started to work in his shed. Since it was very hot, I decided to go inside the workshop where it was cooler. Inside I discovered a little vent from which cool air emerged and I decided to take a little snooze there. It felt so good in the shed, that I eventually fell asleep.
   When I woke up, the shed was totally dark. I went over to the door and tried to nudge it open, but it did not budge. Panic! After a minute I realized the grim situation I was in. Patches had locked me up in the shed!  
   Obviously I had to start my thinking process about ways to get out. How about making a key with the tools here! But that did not work, because I could not even pick up the tools.
   Then I had another idea. I could crawl through the 4 paws (3 inches) air vent. I could fit my four paws in there easily, just not the rest of my body. The third option was to break through a window and get out. The only problem was, that there weren't any windows in the shed. I was really ready to lie down and cry.
  Then I heard an ominous sound from the door. I got into fighting position, ready to attack Patches. The door opened. It was not Patches, but Bubba's owner Bob! He brought me back inside the house where Bubba was. I was saved from the dungeon of doom! We ate some food and went to bed. To this day I can not figure out how Patches walked all the way from our home to Bubba's house to lock me in or maybe it was some other force...