'Twas the Night Before Easter

   I was just settling down for a Easter snooze when I thought the world was going to end. Little balls of white, icy stuff came falling out of the sky and making a ruckus on the roof. At first I thought they were big raindrops, but when I looked outside the balls were all over the place. Fearfully I dashed under the table for protection. Thankfully it stopped after ten minutes.

The size of the ice balls. Unfortunately it was kind of dark.

   After the tormenting balls went away I went back to bed for a Easter snooze. After a while I heard feline hissing and meowing in our sun room. I walked over to the glass door and could not believe my tired eyes.  A foreign cat!  Our cat Patches was chasing the other cat out of the sun room. After I was sure the cat was gone I went back to bed.


   After a short Easter snooze I was barbarously wakened up by chirping in the sun room again. I sluggishly sauntered over to the glass door. now i know why the strange cat was in the sun room. A little cardinal with a broken wing was in there. I was just to tired to care.


Happy Belated Easter


P.S. The rabbit I talked about two weeks ago went home - Thankfully

The New Kid on the Block

   Today has been one of the most interesting days of my life. This morning at about 10 naps before dawn (5 o'clock) I awoke to something or someone squeaking down on the porch. Assuming the sound was made by the weird cat, I went back to sleeping.
   Then at about 22 naps (9 o'clock) before dusk, I went out to the porch and there was a teeny, tiny, wounded rabbit. To protect my family against home invasions, I immediately started to bark forcefully at the baby rabbit. That probably was not the smartest thing to do. Practically the whole family came out and for some reason they were really mad. And then they told me that the rabbit was staying here for a week. Great. Just great. Now I have to keep a cat and a rabbit in check. At least I have my powerful bark.

Walk by the River

   Today my family took a walk along the river. Since our house is close to the river, we go there frequently. After a short ride in the driving machine we arrived at the parking lot. My dad opened the door and I dashed out  frantically to see the water. Labradors are supposed to love water, so I pretended to be very excited even though I am scared of it. But when I got to the shore all I could see was a very small puddle!  At that time, Dad caught up with me and put on my leash.

   While we walked, I wrecked my brain to find out what happened to the water. My intelligence center came up with the idea that some monster swallowed the water or outer space dogs stole it. But to my astonishment MeMe was wondering about the water thing too and asked dad about it. He said that someone had closed the dam upstream and all the water that used to be here had been drained. Just between you and me - I was kind of relieved. This way there was no need for acting out a love of water that I plainly don't have.

The Dog Scouts

   These past few days Jeremiah has been talking about joining a organization just for boys. At first I thought he said "Joy Scouts." Thinking it was a group of people that search for joy, I reported the news to Budd the dog across the street. He said I misheard and Jeremiah is becoming a Boy Scout, not a "Joy Scout" and they do not look for joy. I asked him how he knew all this. He said that in his old family one of the sons was also a Boy Scout. According to Budd, the Boy Scouts go camping, hiking, rock climbing, and stuff like that. But then he told me they also go fishing, which means they get to eat lots of meat! I sure wished there were Dog Scouts so us dogs could do fun stuff like having eating contests, fishing, doing digging competitions, and playing tug-of-war. Maybe one day there will be the D.S.A. (Dog Scouts of America). Until then I will just listen to Jeremiah's stories of being a Scout.

The Thin Metal Stick

   Yesterday Patches the cat and I went to get a thin metal stick (shot) stuck into our leg. When we drove in the driving machine, Patches was whining because the machine was loud and bumpy. The whining was so annoying that I decided to walk over to her and try to get her to stop. That was a bad idea. She started hissing at me which caused my human dad (who was driving) to turn around. He nudged me away and since he had to look at me, swerved to the side. We all tumbled over and Patches was not happy about that. Dad pulled over and tied me to a seat, and put Patches in the back.
   We got to the Socitey for the Prevention of Cruelity to Animals - a very sad place. There were dogs outside with signs around there neck, which said "Adoptable." Come to think of it, I was in the same situation a year and a half ago. So glad that is over! Dad took us inside and a little while later a lady brought me to a back room. She got a tube with a sharp end on it. Suddenly I felt a needle penatrate my skin! I tried to get away but she was holding me. Thankfully she let me go back to Dad very soon. Then it was Patches turn to go to the bad Back Room. After Patches was done, we went home. Hopefully we will not have to go back there for a very long time. After all they put thin metal sticks in your leg.

The Horse Without a Body

   One day I found a stuffed horse on MeMe's bed. It was a nice little brown and white horse with bulging eyes. Since I was all alone in the house I decided it would be okay if I just snuggled with the horse for a while. Not knowing it cost two-hundred bones (thirty dollars) I nibbled on the animal, enjoying the taste. Later when my family arrived, I quickly hid the toy under the kitchen sink. Unbeknown to me the sink was leaking. Foolishly I forgot about the horse.

   A couple weeks later I detected a rotten smell in the kitchen. Suspecting the smell was old food, I searched for it. Unfortunately, the only food I discovered was hard bread, cheese on a set mouse trap, and the occasional crumb. Then I came to the sink. When I nudged the curtain open, there, to my astonishment, was the stuffed horse. It was rotten and moldy - perfect for me! 
Even though the humans were there, the temptation was so great that I started chewing viciously on the horse. Right then MeMe walked in and, seeing that I held  the horse in my grip, began chasing me like a dog chases after a squirrel. I dashed out of the kitchen and ran underneath the kitchen table before my horse was taken away. In my haste, the horse got stuck on a corner of the table. 
MeMe came nearer and nearer, and in desperation, I pulled on the head with all my might. Suddenly I heard a ripping noise. Turning around, I saw that the body of the horse was gone! I tried to retrieve the body -- after all, I'm a Labrador Retriever --  but sadly Me-Me caught it.

The horse head

After that my family was disappointed in me for a long time, especially MeMe. The good news is that I got to keep the head and body after all. This has been by far my favorite toy. My favorite part was eating the crunchy eyes! The wonderful thing about this experience that now there are two toys the body and the head!   

Squirrels-The Menace of the World

Here is my report about squirrels. Enjoy!

Squirrels-The Menace of the World

   Squirrels are by far the most annoying animals on earth. My exceptional fantastic dog senses can locate evil squirrels that are aggravating my neighbors.

   For starters there are eight different species of squirrels that live just in trees. The most common species is the gray squirrel with its bushy tail. Most humans think that squirrels always live in trees, but numerous squirrel species dwell on the ground. I guess that is why they call them ground squirrels. You might have heard of chipmunks, prairie dogs, meerkats, marmots, and other kinds of rodents. Probably the most amazing squirrel is the flying squirrel, even though I have never seen one personally. Funny enough they are called “flying squirrels”, but they do not fly! They glide. This remarkable creature can coast from tree to tree thanks to its unique flaps of skin. A flying squirrel can stay up in the air for more than two hundred-forty tails (roughly one hundred-sixty feet).  I could write volumes and volumes of books about these annoying animals, but my brain would explode if I would say one more word about squirrel species.

   Even though I loathe squirrels, one thing I really do like about them, is the way they can get food for themselves. Squirrels are sly thieves and steal our nuts and berries thanks to their handy claws. They hide their loot in coves and hallow trees. Then they jump on the next tree or power line and leave me eating dust. Their behavior is impossible!

   It is my mission to wipe all squirrels off the face of this planet. Unfortunately I can not claim victory, yet. I will trap them, shoot them, hit them, besiege their hiding places, starve them, smoke them out, run them over, electrocute them, hang them, freeze them, drown them, make them walk the plank, and chew them up. Now I only have to convince my humans to give me free reign.