Squirrels-The Menace of the World

Here is my report about squirrels. Enjoy!

Squirrels-The Menace of the World

   Squirrels are by far the most annoying animals on earth. My exceptional fantastic dog senses can locate evil squirrels that are aggravating my neighbors.

   For starters there are eight different species of squirrels that live just in trees. The most common species is the gray squirrel with its bushy tail. Most humans think that squirrels always live in trees, but numerous squirrel species dwell on the ground. I guess that is why they call them ground squirrels. You might have heard of chipmunks, prairie dogs, meerkats, marmots, and other kinds of rodents. Probably the most amazing squirrel is the flying squirrel, even though I have never seen one personally. Funny enough they are called “flying squirrels”, but they do not fly! They glide. This remarkable creature can coast from tree to tree thanks to its unique flaps of skin. A flying squirrel can stay up in the air for more than two hundred-forty tails (roughly one hundred-sixty feet).  I could write volumes and volumes of books about these annoying animals, but my brain would explode if I would say one more word about squirrel species.

   Even though I loathe squirrels, one thing I really do like about them, is the way they can get food for themselves. Squirrels are sly thieves and steal our nuts and berries thanks to their handy claws. They hide their loot in coves and hallow trees. Then they jump on the next tree or power line and leave me eating dust. Their behavior is impossible!

   It is my mission to wipe all squirrels off the face of this planet. Unfortunately I can not claim victory, yet. I will trap them, shoot them, hit them, besiege their hiding places, starve them, smoke them out, run them over, electrocute them, hang them, freeze them, drown them, make them walk the plank, and chew them up. Now I only have to convince my humans to give me free reign.