Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Quintessential Squirrel

   A couple months ago I stated that squirrels are the most annoying animals on earth. I have moved on since then - I now feel the need to destroy them! The only problem is that I can not catch them. On top of it all Patches, our cat, is quite impressive at catching rabbits, mice, and birds. But I have never caught a single animal! Ever! This is a very common situation: right before I can grasp the awful creature, it rushes onto a tree and gets away, again.
   One of my greatest wishes is that a large, lumpy, blubbery, lethargic squirrel would make his home in our back yard.  Then I could easily kidnap it, blackmail the squirrel community and demand a ransom. For me to release their brother I would make them leave this neighborhood forever!
There you have it.

2 comments:

  1. Wow! Great idea! However I hate to burst your bubble Sarge but I have never seen a blueberry, lethargic squirrel in my life!

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  2. You dream big, Sarge. I like that. I hope a blubbery & lethargic squirrel will soon make his home in your yard, so you can put your brilliant plan into action! ;)

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